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More Thinspo!

I've more or less just had a realisation that the main thing that keeps me from binging is thinspo, and I have barely any on here:( Sorry guys.I'm gonna post some in a while, hopefully they'll help you stay on track, i'm pretty sure they will me.
You should all tell me what kind of thinspiration helps you the most... for me it's usually, real/indie; I guess I can relate more to real thinspo and I just think the indie/vintage style is really cute. It gives me a picture in my head of my future self:) A thin self obviously.
So yeah i'll get right on that after this post.
Nothing much has happened since I last posted. I got a job, I have only done 3 shifts and I am ready to quit. Seriously. Basically I am 'THE BEAR'. You all know it. Yenno the humungous fluffy bear that walks around childrens parties, singing happy birthday and other such embarrasing routines. I don't even mind that it's a shitty job, I just honestly don't have the confidence to dance around infront of a load of impressionable tykes, who will probably be scared by the fact that last week my bear foot fell off and they could see my grey Van poking out of the suit:/ My life is going down the toilet pretty fast lately. Other than ALL THAT CRAP, i'm steadily losing weight, i'm quite happy to be fair.
Anyway, enough of these pointless ramblings, onto the thinspo I go:D

♥

My Number 1 Thinspo:)

Slowly but surely...

So i've lost 3lbs this week, but it's probably water weight so i'm not getting myself too excited as of yet. I've been going out a lot recently which means, no food and a lot of alcohol, which equals bad hangover and no appetite. RESULT!
I went to town today for a shop with my friends, and as sure as light is day we 'had' to go to McDonalds, The woman behind the counter asks my frineds what they want to order...'Big Mac meal, Double cheeseburger meal.' Me: 'erm...Small Fanta please...' My friends looked at me like I was purple and started telling the woman on the till that I was on some crash diet. The embarrasment was acctually unreal. Does anyone else have friends like this? I love them to pieces but it's obvious they don't understand.

I'm Back!

I know I havn't been around for a while, I went on a major Bingey bender... Gained 4lbs.
I hate this life.
Also today I burnt all of my fingertips on a hot plate from under the grill. How stupid can you get? I was then so upset that I threw the food away:/ So I hope you all appreciate the pain I am bearing just to type this post:)
Ermm what else... me and my friends booked ourselves a holiday to Zante for July 15 next year :D I'm so excited & it gives me somthing to aim for, I want to be 85lbs by then. So that's... (mathematics, 144-85= ) .... 59lbs to loose! It sounds like a lot, but i'm super excited to loose it!
I want to wear a bikini, it's like my dream^-^
I guess I'll have to see how this week turns out and hopefully I'll be getting my gym membership soon.
Wish me luck & I'll keep you guys updated on how I shed these 59lbs.

Ash ♥

I hate my mum.

I know it sounds like somthing a little kid would say after they don't get their own way but recently I feel I have become trapped in my home with my mother. On a short note; she mentally drains me of any self-confidence I may have left in me, and her verbal abuse towards me is getting tiring, I am not a person to ignore and walk away from a situation either - I'm a cryer. I just break down in tears, one day I hope she will stop shouting and come and wrap her arms around me, tell me she's sorry and say it's all going to be okay. But she never does, and I'm tired of waiting for it to happen, She calls me lazy, which I am (with housework) she calls me a 'cheeky bitch' which I certainly am not, I have never once swore at my mum and it breaks my heart when those vile names seem to so easily roll off her tounge to describe me. She seems to be so self-absorbed in her own problems, her own lies, and her own deciet; that she has no time for my pain and my suffering, she does not know about my ED and at this rate I will never tell her, & I think that's best. For now however I will just sink back into my personal abyss, where I don't have to hear her drunken ramblings in my ear. Goodnight, one day I will wake and find you to have blossomed in my absence.

Sh*t Day

It's 21:38 and I've consumed 1000 calories. What a shit day this has been.
However! there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I recieved some motivation today and now I am in the fast lane to thin. I feel this was the extra push I needed to get myself back on track. Since last Sunday I have last 2lbs. 2 measly pounds! I seem to get myself into a downward spiral if I havn't lost what I wanted too, instead of going ahead and continuing I binge and destroy everything I worked so hard for.
I'm just going to clarify for future refrence my stats that I will post NOW:
HW: 152lbs
LW: 109lbs
CW: 140lbs
Height: 5''4

Tomorrow I am going food shopping...so we'll see how that goes.
I am setting my calorie limit as 600 for tomorrow & I will not go over that amount.
Wish me luck, this is gonna take the piss, but it will be well worth it.
♥